Javanese Women Identity Regarding 3M: Macak- Manak-Masak Values

In Javanese society that adheres to the patriarchy system, women’s position as a wife is under the husband, it’s like konco wingking (friend in behind), who should obey all the husband’s order Swargo nunut neroko kathut (following husband in heaven or hell). As a wife, Javanese women identity revolves around her territory of 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak (Dress-up, giving offspring, cooking). This certainly limits the Javanese women’s movement and places her under man. This paper is based on the finding in previous research about Javanese women’s identity in society. Emancipation and globalization have gradually driven the changes of Javanese married women’s position to become a garwo – sigaraning nyowo (half of the husband’s life), which has an equal and important role in achieving the concept of dadi wong in the society.


Introduction
In Javanese culture that adheres to the paternalistic conception where men are highly respected and favoured by their masculinity, meanwhile, the role of women with their femininity is only International Journal of Culture and History ISSN 2332-5518 2020 considered as a compliment or a subordinate to men (Fachrani, 2015). Those masculinity and femininity values come from society's construction. Javanese women are certainly not just a biological meaning, but also includes the structure of life. Javanese sociocultural systems are based on cultural values and norms that are inherent in soul and become the basis of Javanese women's identity. According to Pudjianto (2017), Javanese woman is a social identity inherent in the mentality of each individual and socially because the meaning of being is a social representation of self-image to fulfill the feminine instincts completely and correctly based on the criteria of Javanese society. Furthermore, Darwin (1999) says that in Javanese culture women are the property or objects of men which are parallel to bondo (treasure), griyo (house), turonggo (car), kukilo (pets or birds), and pusoko (power). Those explain that women's position in Javanese culture is under men. Women do not have independence and do not have adequate space in male domination.
Traditionally Javanese women also have a specific character in their social life. The word for women in Javanese word is wanita. According to Supadjar in Handayani (2008), the word wanita comes from the word wani (brave) and tapa (suffering), it means that wanita is someone who dares to suffer to bring success to others. For example, Javanese women will do pray for their husbands or children to succeed. Javanese women have a character that is in accordance with Javanese cultures, such as speaking a soft word, quiet/calm, don't like conflict, prioritizing harmony, upholding family values, able to understand others, polite, playing an important role in the family economy, and faithful (Bonita, 2012). While Javanese women become a wife, she will be a konco wingking (friend in the behind) where she relies all her body and soul on her husband's hand. Handayani (2008) stated that konco wingking is a person who stands behind, although it does not always worse, its position is lower and less decisive.
A common expression about a wife as a konco wingking is following behind her husband and thus needs to adjust herself to stay in her position. Their standing was determined by the occupation and personal reputation of their husband. Women have to show their bekti (devotion) and respect to her husband need. Javanese wife is supposed to be with her husband in heaven and hell, as the saying goes swargo nunut neraka katut (Handayani, 2008). Generally, people interpret this expression as a form of female inferiority as a wife in domestic life. A wife is positioned as an individual who has no power over themselves and desires. Happiness (heaven) and misery (hell) of a wife, depends on the dominance of the husband. Thus indicates that a wife have not own choices and decision, but she has to follow whatever and wherever the husband goes. However, that submission, dependence, and surrender attitude toward her husband is a symbol of the glory of Javanese women's heart.
Another portrayal of an ideal Javanese woman is mostly derived from the various Serat (books) written by Javanese kings and Pujangga (Writers). Those books contain with piwulang (teaching) on morals and ethics for Javanese women, such as Serat Wulangreh Putri (Book on the Teachings for Women) created by Sunan Pakubuwana IV and Serat Cendrarini (Book on the Beauty of Women) from the 19th century (Zakiah, 2002). Serat Candrarini (1863) is written by Raden Ngabehi Ranggawarsito on behalf of Sri Susuhunan Pakubuwono IX in the form of a tembang macapat that describes how is the ideal Javanese women role model. Furthermore, Zakiah (2002) stated that in Serat Candrarini we will find the description of ideal women as follow: (i) should be loyal to husband, (ii) be prepared to allow him to take another wife, (iii) International Journal of Culture and History ISSN 2332-5518 2020 56 good at cooking, be able to take care of her physical beauty, (iv) be modest, and (v) be good at serving her husband.
Regarding the Javanese culture, we will find many aspects that become a critical part of social life. According to Matsumoto (2003) culture as a dynamic system of rules, explicit and implicit, established by a group to make sure their survival, involves attitudes, wisdom, values, beliefs, norms, and behaviours. That opinion is supported by Mahmoed (2015) that culture is the way of life which includes beliefs, concepts, principles, behaviour patterns, habits, and everything that human beings learn to do. According to UNESCO (2009), culture can be seen from the cultural heritage as the legacy of physical artefacts and intangible attributes of group and society that are inherited from past generations, maintained in the present and bestowed for the benefit of a future generation, including traditions and living expressions. Those opinions are supported by Davidson (1991) that defines cultural heritage is concrete cultural products or works resulted from a number of traditions (tangible heritage) and spiritual values from the past (intangible heritage) which become the identity of the group or nation. Matsura (2004) stated that all tangible heritage embodies intangible components such as spiritual values, symbols, meanings, knowledge, or the know-how of craftsmanship and construction. Achifact (2014) supports that opinion, he said that in heritage values we will find tangible values (for example, archaeological, architectural, or technological values) and in intangible values (traditional, spiritual, symbolic, or commemorative associations). Furthermore, MacKee (2011) said that in intangible heritage we will find spiritual, values, and norms. Based on those opinions, we can define that intangible heritage such as knowledge, tradition, customs, norms, values, history, religion, and art are the aspects of human life embraced by the culture. And every nation has its own unique cultural heritage. As a big country with many ethnic groups, Indonesia is one of the countries that own a lot of cultural heritages passing from generation to generation, one of them are Javanese.
In the Javanese tradition, there also some cultural values in the form of oral tradition until finally, it becomes an unwritten rule which is passed down from the old generation to the young generation related to women's main task and considering to be done. The forms of oral tradition can be in folktales, myths, and legends, histories, legal practices, adat law, and medication (Hoed, 2008). Furthermore, Daud (2008) defines oral tradition as materials produced by traditional communities, in the form of speech, traditional customs, or practice, including rituals, traditional ceremonies, folklore, folk songs, dances, and children's games. From these oral traditions, we can find out the philosophical values and moral ethics that exist in Javanese culture. The 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak (Dress-up, giving offspring, cooking), is one part of the oral tradition cultures that was inherited from parents to their children until finally, it becomes an unwritten rule and becomes part of the Javanese women's movement space.
Basically, women should be fully submissive to men, worship, respect, and obey her husband. Zakiah (2002) stated that Javanese women should be good at 3M values: Macak-Manak-Masak. Since a small age, Javanese women has been plugged in with domestic tasks surrounding dapur-sumur-kasur (kitchen-wells-mattress). While waiting to get married, Javanese girls are usually taught and learn how to cook, washing clothes and clean up the house, put makeup and dress-up, and all activities related to providing a good service to their husband (Utoyo, 1998;Bonita, 2012;Fachrani, 2015). ISSN 2332-5518 2020 The Javanese values 3 M: Macak-Manak-Masak are attached to Javanese women's minds. And as mentioned earlier that domination over Javanese women is a symbol of Javanese male power. This confirmed by Zuntriana (2007) who said that in Javanese culture women who is depend, need protection and support from her husband are examples of good women. Even though, Javanese women married to non-Javanese men, the traditional culture, norms, and values of 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak is part of the present-day lives, and thus can still be encountered in the current society of Javanese women that married men from other culture and nation.

Patriarchy System in Javanese
Javanese society adheres to the patriarchal system which tends to override the position of women compare to the position of men, there are different norms that applied to men and women. According to Ismawati (2005), especially in traditional Javanese society, Javanese women having more norms and values to be obeyed compared to men. This condition is very common in patriarchal societies where men tend to be more dominant, and placing women in subordinate and marginal positions. Indeed, the Global Gender Gap Report of the World Economic Forum Association indicates that Indonesian women rank 97 among the 135 countries in terms of the global gender gap (Hausman, Tyson, and Zahidi, 2012). There are still significant differences in the status of Indonesian women, especially Javanese women compare to men. For Javanese women, a patriarchal system is an obstacle in achieving equal status and role as men. A patriarchal system that contains values that prioritizes men, thus influencing the way in which women and men perceive their status and role in the family and society. Even though Javanese women play an active role in the production process and actively doing something outside the home or non-domestic activities, the community's perception of women status and position is still surrounded by patriarchal values that favour men because these patriarchal values are already perpetuated a long time ago and curbed women freedom. As mentioned by Wibowo (2018), patriarchal values have been internalized and perpetuated thoroughly in various institutions, education, and beliefs, which directly strongly suppress and marginalize women's movement.
However, in Javanese tradition, patriarchy ideology makes Javanese wife unable to express her feelings and Javanese women may not speak openly. In the sexual relations, Javanese women are placed in a noble purpose: getting pregnant and giving offspring. But, women are perceived as passive sexual agents whose major task is to fulfill men's need in bed. Javanese women are considered taboo to act aggressively in sexual activities and are considering saru (taboo) to discuss sexual issues. Zakiyah (2002) stated that it is obvious that in various perspective, Javanese women are placed in a disadvantaged position, as a sexual object for men's satisfaction.
Regarding the respect to husband, Handayani (2008) stated that Javanese women will not appear in public, because in principle the wife must not surpass her husband's position and popularity. And in terms of working space, Javanese women are expected not to work to respect their husband's position. There is an assumption that if a wife has to work, it will give an illustration that the husband unable to fulfil the needs of his wife and family. As a manifestation of the women's devotion, the wife should not work outside the home, but it performs her obligations at home and become konco wingking to replace the title of wife. This shows that women are not equal to man, and limited her working area in 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak.

Women Position in Javanese Society
The women position in Javanese society is greatly cornered, as revealed in Kitab Clokantara in Hariwijaya (2004), which states: "Tiga Ikang abener lakunya ring loka Iwirnya, ikang iwah, ikang udwad, ikang janmasri. Yen katelu wilat gatinya yadin pweka nang istri hana satya budhinya dadi ikang tunjung tumuwuh ring cila" (The three convoluted paths are: rivers, creeping plants, and women. The three of them walk tortuous. If there are women who walk straight, there will be a Tunjung (flower) growing on the rock).
Women are equated with convoluted rivers and creeping plants, women are considered doesn't have a position in opinion, even compared to the impossibility of the Tunjung Flower planted on rocks. Those conceptions have legitimized the position of Javanese women as passive women without initiative. Her passivity and submission are also reflected in the matchmaking phase in choosing a prospective husband. When Javanese enters the marriage stages, as a Javanese woman she must be manut (obedient) to accept the prospective husband who has been chosen by her parents, and later on when she got married, she must follow all that her husband desires.
This situation is not fair for Javanese women, because Javanese men have their own freedom and criteria for choosing women as a wife. According to Serat Candrarini (Ranggawarsito, 1863) in Suryadi (1993), there are at least 3 women characters that men consider in choosing them : (i) watak wedi (character of fear) is the character of resignation, do not like to criticize, refute, reject or interruption the conversation. (ii) watak gemi (character of good at saving money). Not wasteful on the livelihood from the husband, how much money the husband's gift must be accepted with gratitude, can keep a husband's secret, also not saying much that is useless. And (iii) watak gemati (character of loving). A wife should be taking care of what the husband likes and loving him, such as providing food, drink, preparing his clothes, and all action that pleased him. Those three characters require women to always obey their husband's wishes, do not have freedom in spending money, and must devoted love to her husband in whatever conditions. Those characteristics are restrictions on women's rights in expressing opinions as well as in all economic actions and behaviour (Wibowo, 2018). Furthermore, as stated by Zakiah (2002) the ideal conception of Javanese women in Serat Candrarini (Ranggawarsito, 1863) should be followed 9 things: (i) loyal to men, (ii) willing to be let her husband married to other women, (iii) loving, (iv) skilled at women's work, (v) good in dressing and taking care of herself, (vi) simple, (vii) clever in serving the husband's will, (viii) paying attention to in-laws, (ix) like to read a book that contains advice. In the Javanese tradition, women are required to yield and can calm the husband who is upset, but how a husband should be an example and behave wisely, not hurting and offend the wife's heart is rarely discussed. In the conception of duties and obligations of Javanese women indeed tend to focus on pampering and providing services to men/husbands.
The pattern of thought has become the construction of the majority in forming a stereotypical view of Javanese women. As stated in Serat Darmagandul, four things related to daily tasks that women must faithful as husband's companions : (i) pawon (kitchen), women are required International Journal of Culture and History ISSN 2332-5518 2020 to be good at cooking, so they can serve dishes that their husbands like, (ii) paturon (bed), women are required to satisfy their husbands in bed., (iii) pangrekso (mastery), women are required to be able to manage the household and serve all their husband's needs as well as possible., and (iv) padudon (squabbling), a good woman is required to be able to understand the nature and temperamental of her husband. (Hariwijaya, 2004). And When the husband gets angry, in order to maintain harmony in the marriage, the wife should be able to quell his anger. The woman is positioned to obey all her husband's needs in terms of serving food, serving in the bedroom, managing the household, always giving in, and not argue with the husband's word.
The rules regarding women are actually intended for palace women, but also have an effect on Javanese women in general. As written in Serat Centhini by Sunan Pakubuwono V, which contains the teachings of Nyi Hartati to her daughter Racangkapti, about the portrayal of five fingers which weakens the position of Javanese women (Wibowo, 2018): (i) Jempol (thumb), which means Pol in tyas. As a wife, women must surrender completely to their husbands, women must comply with all of the desires of her husband's order.
(ii) Penuduh (forefinger), which means do not dare to break the thudung kakung (husband's instruction), must obey and not question the husband's order.
(iv) Jari manis (ring finger), means should always have a nice and sweet face in serving her husband ow when her husband wants something.
(v) Jejenthik (pinkie), as a wife, women must always antha-ithikan (nimble and skilled in all things) should be wholehearted and not be careless in serving her husband.
According to conception from Serat Candrarini in Zakiah (2002) and Wibowo (2018), and Serat Darmagandul in Hariwijaya (2004), as an individual, Javanese women have no power over themselves and their desires. Women are only positioned as konco wingking who stand behind her husband and should swargo nunut neroko kathut follow him in heaven or hell. This indicates that a wife cannot make her own choices and decision, but she has to follow whatever the husband goes. However, in Javanese, women's submission, dependence, and surrender attitude toward her husband are symbols of Javanese women's generosity.
Furthermore, Saputro (1988) mention that the ideal images of Javanese women should become a good wife, careful, conscientious, patient, and able to do tapa brata (asceticism). This asceticism is to control and fasting on eating, sleeping, and gossiping. Actually, that ideal imaging has a good side to build the character of virtuous women, but also give a woman a burden and demand to be an ideal wife. In Serat Suluk Residriya which illustrates some of the characteristics of ideal Javanese women : (i) do not commit contempt, (ii) woman who makes mistakes will be poured out by their husbands, (iii) woman who does not have good quality will not be loved by their husband, (iv) women must be loyal (Widyastuti, 2014). Javanese women should be loyal to her husband, be prepared to allow her husband to married again, good at cooking, be able to take care of her physical beauty, take care of her manners, be good International Journal of Culture and History ISSN 2332-5518 2020 at serving her husband. Basically, a women domestic task only surrounding in 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak.

Javanese Value 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak
Catur (2010) mentions that in Javanese culture, women's place only limited in 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak that put her in a limited and narrowed confined position. Meanwhile, Javanese values 3M values: Macak-Manak-Masak formally is an oral tradition, later on, Javanese society has changed into unwritten customs that limit women's space (Hoed, 2008). No wonder that since a younger age, Javanese women have been plugged in narrow space with domestic tasks surrounding dapur-sumur-kasur (kitchen-wells-mattress).

3M Values: Macak (Dress-up)
The first M value is Macak. Darwin and Tukiran (2001) claimed that Javanese women from priyayi are required to be an ideal woman must behave politely, maintain their health and beauty through drinking traditional herbal medicine, wearing kebaya and kain (Javanese traditional clothes) that attracts her husband's passion. Related to the first M: Macak, a Javanese woman must be taking care of herself by drinking traditional herb, dress up, and put make-up to look beautiful in front of her husband. Macak is related to (i) how Javanese women wear day-to-day clothes, (ii) to take care of her body and wearing make-up, and (iii) attitude towards husband.
As for women's clothing, the Javanese women from wong cilik (non-royal family) uses pinjung (Pinjung cloths) that wrapped around the body from left to right and ends on the right side. The cloth is wrapped around the chest to the bottom covering the ankle. When the kain only covers the stomach, Javanese women will add another cloth to cover around the chest up to the bottom of the arm which commonly called kemben (Widyastuti, 2015). Kain pinjung are also equipped with batik clothes or lurik (striped fabric) which is equipped with a long-sleeved buttoned shirt called kebaya. Originally kain pinjung generally used by abdi dalem (women maids) of Yogyakarta palace. Furthermore, pinjung is not only wear by the royal maids but also becomes a daily part of women in Java (Khasanah and Afiyanto, 2017). Pinjung is consist of long fabric called jarik, batik clothes, and fabric belts called stagen.
The way to dress for women in the palace is not different from wong cilik's women. The only difference is the quality and beauty of the fabric motifs, as well as using a variety of jewelry such as; bracelets, ring, necklace, earring, shoulder straps, to anklets, all made of gold and other precious stone (Widyastuti, 2015). Generally, Javanese women from priyayi and aristocrats use jarit and kebaya. The kebaya clothes as daily wear are different in their use kebaya as formal clothing. In everyday life, kebaya is used with looser rules, such as can be used without shoes, or without using a gelungan (hair bun), and the hair is just tied up to make it look neater. However, if there are guests who come to the house, then the clothes worn by the Javanese women should be neater as well as the hair, make-up, and occasionally worn a sandal.

3M Values: Manak (Giving Offspring)
The second M value is Manak. As mention in Serat Darmagandul (Hariwijaya, 2004), Javanese women should carry out her role in Paturon (bed) and can satisfy her husband in the bedroom area. Furthermore, Widiatmoko (2014) stressed that Manak is the ability to carry on the lineage and giving birth an offspring. To able to give an offspring becomes a Javanese woman's main task. While a woman cannot have children, she is considered as a failed woman, a strange woman, and a disgrace to the family name (Warto, 1997). Although sometimes the failure to have offspring does not originate from the wife's side. This conception describes the lower position of women in Javanese society who adhere to the patriarchal system.
Having children is a women's nature, but in Javanese society, Javanese women are possessed as a klangenan (goods) such as horses, birds or keris (traditional Javanese sword weapon). Wibowo (2014), stated that Keris ligan is compared to male genitalia and the warongko as female genitalia. Keris ligan without warongko can still stand alone and still useful, but warongko without keris ligan can't stand alone and are useless. Furthermore, in this conception based on Wibowo (2014), Javanese women have no power, she is only konco wingking whose duties and obligations are just as if umbah-umbah (washing), mengkurep-mlumah (pronelooking up), and momong bocah (parenting). The wife's duty is not only to deliver a baby but also to be nurturing and devote her energy to take care of children to be good in physical, psychological, spiritual, and material. This task is applied to Javanese women from the royal family or ordinary class (Smith-Hefner, 1988).

3M Values: Masak (Cooking)
The last M value is Masak -means taking care of the kitchen. In Javanese society, the kitchen is known as a pawon, which is the realm and authority of women. That's is why the wife in Javanese cultural life it is called as konco wingking (a friend who being and/or working behind). Back here means in the kitchen, in the architecture of the Javanese house, the kitchen is usually at the back of the house. This term judged to be degrading to women, as if the authority of women is only in the kitchen only, there is no ability to appear in front or in public. A good wife must be able to cook delicious and nutritious food for her husband and children. But philosophically, this Masak is not only the activity of cooking food. A good wife must be able to process and manage raw materials to be better. In spending money, a good wife should be able to manage using the money in an optimal way, with a the small cost can produce something good. Hakim, Sunardi, and Herawati (2014), stated that the wife must be able to maintain family finances by managing the money given from her husband as well as possible to meet the needs of daily family life. Managing family finances is one of the obligations and noble duties of the wife in maintaining the survival of her family. The kitchen is a women's world and the husband must believe in whatever is done by his wife in relation to the kitchen.
The matters relating to the making of the kitchen there is also using a traditional calculation based on of weton (birthday according to Javanese's calendar) of wife to prevent her safety in cooking. The safety of the wife when cooking in the kitchen is considered important because International Journal of Culture and History ISSN 2332-5518 2020 the kitchen is the center of daily activities for providing family food and drink Masak is not only cooks and provides meals or drink. Masak contains a deep meaning because a wife or mother will cook for the family is usually processed with love. For a normal family, the most delicious is home food, because the nutrition, cleanliness, and health are maintained, and there is love in it (Widiatmoko, 2014). Every household certainly has a favourite dish that has been a family legacy for generations. Masak can also mean, a woman should not accepting everything in the raw, but everything must be cooked (studied more deeply to find out the truth).

The Adaptation of 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak
In the life of Javanese women, adaptation with foreign cultures begun to influence the critical thinking about the freedom of Javanese women who are in seclusion custom, no school, and polygamy culture. R.A. Kartini who was born into the noble family wants to have emancipation and freedom for Javanese women which is reflected in the letter to her friend Stella which finally become a book with the tittle Door Duitermis tox Licht (after darkness, The light appeared). Based on these thoughts and struggles, R.A. Kartini becomes a figure of the emancipation of Javanese women. She becomes an emancipatory feminist from Javanese aristocratic women (Asmarani, 2017).
All her critical thinking is about women's emancipation and inequality begin to emerge during R.A. Kartini's life in the late 19th and early 20th centuries influences by a wave of feminism in western countries. At that time R.A. Kartini considered that the Javanese nobility was very complicated and limited the freedom of Javanese women working space. What is contained in the book is very influential in encouraging the advancement of Indonesian women, because the content of the writing has become a source of motivation for the struggle of Indonesian women, especially nowadays Javanese women have the opportunity to develop their potential, especially in higher education and another sector.
Over time, the influence of the inclusion of Islamic culture, as well as the development of world education that allowed Javanese women to have a higher education equal to men, and the influence from other cultures, had changed the outlook of Javanese women. As a wife, she is not only a konco wingking but also positioned higher and its term as garwo-sigaraning nyowo ( half of the husband's life), because husband and wife are two become one, each of them is half of one identity. The meaning of sigaraning nyowo clearly gives a picture of the position of Javanese women which equal and more egalitarian then the term of konco wingking which demeans the position of women. Sigaraning nyowo connotes that husband and wife are actually one life or one soul, if the husband is happy then the wife is happy too, if his wife in a difficult situations even the husband feels the same. It is impossible for a couple to succeed without the role of their partner.
The term of garwo, places women as mothers who have gender equality with their husbands in managing their households, According to Mikkola (2008) Javanese women have resilience in their position as a strong pillar in the household, this position should be seen as a gender equation. A phenomenon that often arises behind the greatness and success of a husband and child cannot be separated from the role of wife or woman (Slaughter, 2012). ISSN 2332-5518 2020 The strength of Javanese women is reflected in their attitude, thoughts, and positions, combined with the gentleness of their attitudes, which makes Javanese women very unique. In the midst of gentle behaviour there is a strong soul and thoughts, even the strength of a women's soul is stronger than men. Suryadi (2019) mention that Javanese women are stronger than men can be seen in the Javanese phrase:
(actually, a woman is stronger than a man, that is strong in keeping family secrets, strong in doing justice in the family, and strong in delivering her children to be successful).
Nowadays the Javanese women's role is changing. In the old days, women's place only working in domestic space at home, thanks to the emancipation movement has allowed women to work outside the home and are often involved in various activities. The women's role in their families is divided into a wife and a mother. As a wife, she has to serve her husband in all conditions, and while the role of a mother, she should pregnant, giving birth to the child, taking care of them, and also protecting all her family members. This already shows that the role of women not only in dapur-kasur-sumur, but also can also work and having an income to contribute to family economic needs. Women not only become a housewife, but women also have to work outside the house in various fields because women want to be respected and its existence by the communities (Ramadhani, 2016). Women no longer only play the role of housewives who perform reproductive functions, caring for children and husbands, or other household work, but have played an active role in various fields of life both in social, economic and political.
In an effort to achieve a prosperous life, every day these women will balance their roles both as housewives and their role as breadwinners can running well. For this reason, women must manage their time to make all the roles that can be carried outbalanced. Although a woman is allowed to work in the public sector, she must not neglect the domestic sector such as cooking, cleaning, serving her husband, and taking care of the children (Wulansari, 2011).
The shift in role between men and women in the family and household occurs when a mother also has a very important role in society and the country. The division of the role domestic and public currently exists in the Javanese society, Because in Javanese society, women are accustomed to domestic and public role This happens because in Javanese community, farmers, trader, and fishermen, where women take care of the household (domestic) while earning a living in public (Stivens, 1991).

The Identification of 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak
Globalization and emancipation have an impact on the cultural changing If in the past working to earn money was the responsibility of the husband, now a wife taking a role as a breadwinner to improve her social-economic status. Othman (2015) stated that the role of women was changed over the decades in helping themselves and their loved ones achieve shared prosperity and improving their social status as a way to escape from poverty and vulnerability. The wife is not only a housewife who dealing with the domestic tasks but also works outside the home International Journal of Culture and History ISSN 2332-5518 2020 to increase income and get recognition from the community.
The role of women in the family as an institution, the existence of family certainly has a function or role so that family institution will continue to be maintained. In the family, there are important functions that must be carried out especially in continuing heredity, social economy, and education, as stated by Lawang (1994), there is three family function (i) sexual function, (ii) economic function, and (iii) educational function. And the Based on the selfconcept of Indonesian women especially Javanese as a housewife in the framework of five women's task as follow: (i) Women as husband's companion, (ii) Woman as educators and coaches of the younger generation, (iii) Women as a housewife, (iv) Women as bearers of offspring, (v) Women as members of the community (Notopuro, 1984), In performing its dual role as a housewife in the house and as a work outside the home, Javanese women must be able to manage their time well so they can perform well in both roles. The women's role in the domestic area includes washing, cooking, preparing food, preparing the needs of the husband and children, and send children to school. Every morning, in addition to preparing to go to work, she also has to manage her household, such as preparing the husband's need who is going to work, paying attention to the children who are going to school is the duty of a housewife, including preparing the breakfast (Siregar, 2007).

The Concept of Dadi Wong
A person will be counted and assessed based on their own, especially in relation to his wealth and work. Work is the goal of human life (Koentjaraningrat, 2004). This can be understood because working people can buy things and get happiness in life. In Javanese society, there is the concept of dadi wong (being a person) -being a successful person. That dadi wong is a flexible concept and in accordance with the social strata in society, the measurement of dadi wong although there are standards, is adjusted based on the hierarchy of a person in society. From the Javanese women's point of view, the concept of dadi wong is not only a material/economic success but also from the moral/religious/ethical, psychological and sociocultural aspects. Dadi wong is not only a physical/economic aspect but rather focuses on aspects of Javanese culture which have an orientation to physical and mental aspects (Suratno and Astiyanto, 2004).
The meaning of dadi wong is generally inherent in the context of married couples who are married and have a family. The concept of dadi wong applies to married women or women who act as wives or mothers. For Javanese people, marriage is a religious obligation (Soeratno and Astiyanto, 2004). Marriage is used as a measure of maturity where husband and wife feel the responsibility and the burden in family life. By getting married means that life has become complete. As partners, they will play a role in society as a mother, fathers, and parents. When connected to the first 3M value, Macak, a wife must have a good performance and appearance, should able to get along and adapt to srawung (mingle) with the surrounding environment. She must able to keep away negative traits such as jealousy and arrogance, as well as be able to protect her mouth, actions, and appearance according to her position (Triratnawati, 2005).
Regarding the second 3M: Manak, the task of educating children is indeed the responsibility of husband and wife, but in fact, is the wife who has a heavier burden to bear. Furthermore, Triratnawati (2005) mentions that a family is considered to fulfill dadi wong if the wife can educate children according to the cultural and religious norm so that they become virtuous children. The concept of dadi wong related to the third 3M: Masak is associated with the economic aspect. Economic stability is described as sufficient income to enjoy a stable life. For Javanese people, an established life is always related to position/rank at work, with high rank, it is generally followed by high income as well. The economic adequacy of the family contains physical aspects concerning adequate food, clothing, and house. A family that is economically secure and has abundant assets will be seen by surrounding neighbours as a successful family (Triratnawati, 2005). This supported by Brener (1998) that stated a person's social status can be seen from the factors of wealth, employment, education, and lineage.

Conclusion
The patriarchal system that exists in Javanese society, places the Javanese women position as a wife is under their husbands. The limitation of the role of women makes women' helpless and sticking the domestic stereotypes that control the woman's position. The wife is likened as konco wingking (friend in the behind) who must obey and follow all husband's orders, which is described in swargo nunut neroko kathut (follow husband in heaven or hell). This statement is limited to the wife's movement only in the domestic area which is dapur-kasur-sumur (kitchen, bed, well). As a wife, Javanese women only deal with the domestic area along with 3M: Macak-Manak-Masak (dress-up, giving offspring, Cooking). This is a course very detrimental and limits the movement of Javanese women, as well as placing her position under their husbands.
It is fortunate that in Indonesia especially for Javanese there is a driving force for women's emancipation, namely R.A. Kartini, who has succeeded in striving to raise the pace of globalization which is slowly opening up opportunities for Javanese women to change their fate into garwo -sigaraning nyowo (half of the husband's life) and to actively participate in improving the family welfare, Javanese women can work to support their husband's income, without leaving her duties and functions as a mother of her children, and the wife role for her husband. The success that is reflected in the concept of dadi wong is the totality between Javanese women and their role in nuclear families, as well as how she forming an effort to achieve the family's dignity as a woman who is useful for herself, her family, and society.